i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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