He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
