As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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