the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
