She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
