woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
