If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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