She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
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i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
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im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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