he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize