so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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