Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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