I bet he comes in French.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
3 2 1 whiskey
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
