If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
