i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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