yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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