I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
