he thought i was a dude.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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