Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
