My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
