I love black thongs
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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