DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
