All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
