He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
