I hate your face
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
