i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
