Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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