Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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