i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
