Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize