This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
