I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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