I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This house was built for laser tag.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
