how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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