no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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