Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
