just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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