Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
