Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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