I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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