I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
