somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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