Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
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We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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