I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
