If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
