did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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