I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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