So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
