I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
