You just made me feel so damn special
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
