Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize