I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
