I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
