I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
this hospital has no fireball
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
