he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
