..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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