You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
