i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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